Nic Cage Appreciation Month is rattling along quite well, so far. In order to track my progress, I'm going to put up a list of all Nic Cage's films (excluding ones where he's a voice actor, or which were made for TV, or for which he had only an obvious bit part) and cross 'em out as I watch them (ones in bold are DVDs which have been acquired and will be watched imminently):

Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2008)
Next (200)
Grindhouse (2007)
Ghost Rider (2007)
The Wicker Man (2006)
World Trade Center (2006)
The Weather Man (2005)
Lord of War (2005)
National Treasure (2004)
Matchstick Men (2003)
Adaptation (2002)
Sonny (2002)
Windtalkers (2002)
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001)
The Family Man (2000)
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
Bringing Out the Dead (1999)
8MM (1999)
Snake Eyes (1998)
City of Angels (1998)
Face/Off (1997)
Con Air (1997)
The Rock (1996)
Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Kiss of Death (1995/I)
Trapped in Paradise (1994)
It Could Happen to You (1994)
Guarding Tess (1994)
Amos & Andrew (1993)
Deadfall (1993)
Honeymoon in Vegas (1992)
Red Rock West (1992)
Tempo di uccidere (1991)
Zandalee (1991)
Wild at Heart (1990)
Fire Birds: Wings of the Apache (1990)
Vampire's Kiss (1989)
Moonstruck (1987)
Raising Arizona (1987)
Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)
The Boy in Blue (1986)
Birdy (1984)
The Cotton Club (1984)
Racing with the Moon (1984)
Rumble Fish (1983)
Valley Girl (1983)

I'd like to blame azureskies for this post, but it's been brewing for a while now, really. The question that sparked this, last night, was along the lines of "how come you like the Black Cat when you're a feminist?"

And, y'know, valid question. The most basic, obvious, simplistic answer is that I like Spider-man, and I like stories about Spider-man, and she's one of the few iconic women associated with Spider-man -- the only one, that I can currently think of, who is super-powered, and I like the side-by-side crime-fighting element of their relationship. I also have a bit of a thing for villains-turned-good-(ish). And for cats. Her usual costume, the skin-tight black catsuit with fur lining and the cat-collar -- and her brilliant white hair -- kind of appeals to me aesthetically.

But there are very few positive portrayals of Felicia Hardy in comics. She gets kind of a raw deal: she's written as materialistic, sex-crazed, slightly unhinged, and unreasonably jealous. She likes Spider-man for the spider rather than the man (though, really, can we blame her?) and she turns too easily to a life of crime. Under the pens of certain artists, her catsuit ends up unzipped almost to her crotch, the practicalities of that be damned! Kevin Smith managed to write rape into her origin story, which is by no means unusual, but that doesn't make it any better.

Those are the reasons not to like Felicia Hardy. But there's one moment I keep coming back to, with ridiculous amounts of optimism, hoping that someone will decide to write a Black Cat story where Felicia is exactly as awesome as she ought to be. And, yup, it's in the Civil War: Peter Parker, Spider-man trade, which is full of things I love generally, but particularly the Felicia aspect. There's so much to love about it!

Basically, the Rhino has just laid the smackdown on Spidey, and when Felicia finds out, she sets out to get revenge for him. The idea that Felicia would be able to fight off the Rhino seems sort of ridiculous, and in fact she doesn't enter into a physical fight with him -- but in the background of one panel is a reprint from the scene where she beat the hell out of Sabretooth, subtly implying that actually, Felicia beating up the Rhino isn't outside the realm of possibility -- instead, she has a little chat with him, talking him down while, at the same time, clearly coming to some realisations about herself.

Then she goes to speak to Mary Jane, revealing that she hadn't only calmed the Rhino down and let him get away with it, but actually put a tracer on him, leaving the Punisher to do the dirty work. As she walks away, MJ asks whether Felicia has a message for Peter, and though she sort of does -- "You don't know what you're missing," or "We could've had it all", or "Would anyone else do for you what I've done for you?" -- she wisely chooses to say nothing. But as she's leaving, she thinks of another message she could have left for him: "Thank you, Spider--Peter--whatever you want to call yourself. For taking off your mask and reminding me ... it's never too late to figure out who you really are."

Someone needs to write that story.

Given that I'm a woman and I came into this world via Caesarean section, it occurs to me that should anyone need any "no man born of woman..." type prophecies thwarted, I'm totally your girl.

Just a thought.

I mentioned to a colleague that I'd bought Britney's new album and he said "That's brave."

He later elaborated that he meant it was brave to buy an album without having heard it, so maybe he just meant in terms of music in general, not just Britney. I've bought lots of albums in the past without having heard more than one song, and it's true, sometimes you get it wrong and buy something awful. But since I refuse to get iTunes and have only bought MP3s a handful of times, buying the CD was pretty much my only option.

I've spent the last two days straight listening to it, and, hmmm. Well. I love Gimme More, and Piece of Me is awesome. I quite enjoy Radar, despite the actual pronunciation of the word "radar", which sounds odd somehow, but the bleepy noises are all good. After that, it all mashes into one and the only song that stands out is Toy Soldier, for all the wrong reasons.

I love picture quizzes. I'm rubbish at them, but I love them.

So I am obsessing rather a lot about the Empire Halloween Quiz. It has instant feedback, too, so you can guess and see if you're right, but ... it's infuriating!

With the help of naturalbornkaos, kinghollywood, jay_nasu_mint, chibi_jelly, Anthony The Sub-Editor and Martin The Designer, I've managed to get all but one of the answers... anyone recognise 26? rockgeisha, I'm looking at you here.

Got 'em all now. Nothing to see here.

( Answers here. )

Oh, and happy Halloween and all that! Hope everyone had a good one. :)

Has anyone else read Stephen King's Cell? What did you think?

I ploughed straight through it yesterday. I'd been putting it off, despite my bizarre love for any horror story about technology, because I wanted to wait for the Eli Roth film. Which I'm now not sure will ever happen, or that it'd be any good if it did.

Weirdly, I probably enjoyed Cell more than I've ever enjoyed any other Stephen King book. (Which isn't saying much, really.) For some reason, it didn't read like him; it didn't seem to be written in precisely his usual style (apart from a few sentences along the way) which was refreshing, since I hate Stephen King's usual style. There's just something about the way he formulates his sentences, combined with the way he seems to always go for the gross out when he finds he's just not good enough to scare you properly, that puts me off - not that that's stopped me reading the vast majority of his most famous books.

Unfortunately, though, Cell still suffered from his inability to write a decent ending. What is that about? He always starts off strongly and then loses the plot, quite literally, halfway through. I'm trying to remember exactly when in Cell I realised it was degenerating into nonsense, but I don't think I could pinpoint the exact moment. By the very end though, I think he'd just given up.

Still, it freaked me right out when my mum rang me in the middle of it.

I realise I'm late to the party on this, but... When did Smarties get rid of the artificial colourings?

Smarties used to make you go mental because they were full of e-numbers. My dad used to tell me not to eat the blue ones, because "they make you talk too much." Now, though, the bloody things are coloured with beetroot juice and other such natural substances. And they look... insipid. Sort of... earthy.

I don't think they taste any different, but it is a bit disappointing. No more blue ones!!!

(And while I'm at it, I still hate the hexagonal tube, and the lack of a lid with a letter on it is a great loss to humanity. It's like Fairy Liquid all over again.)

[There are an absolute shit-load of spoilers in this post. Sorry.]

Poor old MJ.

Supposedly, she's the one true love of Spider-Man's life. She's the one he married, after all. She's the only one who loves the Peter Parker side of him rather than the Spider-Man side. The movies decided she was the one to worry about; they could've gone with Gwen Stacy or even Felicia Hardy, but they didn't. MJ and Spidey are the couple the movies want you to invest in. So why do the comics hate her so much?

Well, supposedly Stan Lee never wanted Peter to end up with her anyway; it was supposed to be Gwen. Joe Quesada doesn't like her. Alex Ross doesn't like her.

I've read lots of Spidey stuff in the last couple of days, and it really feels like everyone hates Mary Jane. In Peter Parker, Spider-Man, MJ tries to reach out to other women in a similar situation (i.e. married to a superhero, with all the problems that entails) and goes to dinner with Sue Richards, only to find that there aren't many women in a similar situation to hers. Although Sue says she'll have to suck it up - MJ knew Pete was Spider-Man when they married, she'll have to deal with it, just like she does, and Jessica Jones/Cage does, and Storm does - MJ points out that all those women are superpowered. Because Peter Parker has unmasked, she's now in a hell of a lot more trouble and, understandably, she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life locked up in Stark Tower. But what can she do?

In the Ultimate Spider-Man Annual, Spidey goes on a date with Shadowcat. Which is kind of awesome, actually, and I had a bit of an "eeeee Pete/Kitty OTP!" moment, except... Pete spends much of his first date with Kitty talking about how he just broke up with a girl because she was incapable of keeping his secret identity a secret. She's too shallow, too superficial, and kept getting into danger because she wouldn't just stay home where she'd be safe. And since she doesn't have superpowers, she can't defend herself, so - sigh! - it's always Spider-Man to the rescue.

That conversation gives Kitty (does she even go by Shadowcat anymore?) the perfect opportunity to suggest he might like to enter into a relationship with a superpowered girl who could take care of herself, and then Spidey and Shadowcat go and kick ass together, which is cool. Except, back up there a second. It's not MJ's fault she's under constant attack from supervillains. Technically, it's actually the fault of the cowardly, unimaginative villains who figure that since they can't take Spidey out, they'll attack someone he loves. And then maybe it's kind of Spider-Man's fault, for not protecting his identity well enough that the villains don't know who his girlfriend is. But it's not MJ's fault. Just like it's not her fault she doesn't have superpowers. It's not personal merit that gave Peter his powers, it's pure dumb luck.

And then there's One More Day, a story predicated on the idea that one of Spidey's wimmins is going to get killed. And Wikipedia informs me there's a story where she dies thanks to prolonged exposure to Spider-Man's radioactive "bodily fluids."

I'm not even touching the Adam Hughes comiquette right now. But what is it that MJ's supposed to have done wrong? She was the feisty, outspoken alternative to good girl Gwen. She does her own thing; she's probably as famous as Spider-Man as a supermodel/actress. According to Wikipedia again, Ultimate MJ is different - she's a brilliant student, wants to be a doctor, and isn't a party girl - but she still gets dumped by Spider-Man for not being superpowered.

Basically, the issue seems to be that she won't stay locked up in an ivory tower; she's clearly a liability, she's not worthy of Spider-Man. Hmph.

Ha! No-one spoiled me! I read the whole book, without even the merest hint of a spoiler! Have it!

...

Okay, so I cracked. On Monday night, with the Victoria line down and a long, long, roundabout journey home in front of me, I nipped into Sainsbury's and picked up Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. And everything has been ever so slightly weird since.

As soon as I picked the book up, a stranger started talking to me. An elderly Jamaican gentleman with only about three remaining teeth quietly enquired whether I didn't think I was maybe "a bit mature" to be reading Harry Potter. Usually, I'd just ignore random people talking to me, but there was a long queue and he was harmless enough, so we had a chat. He asked me if I was going go to Jamaica or Brighton and Hove in the near future, and then asked me at length about my job before brightly striking up conversation with the guy behind the till. Bless.

I buried my nose in the book as soon as I got on a train, but with a weird paranoia making me want to hide the cover. For one thing, because I bought the adult edition, even though I hate the idea of "adult covers" on Harry Potter novels - but the children's artwork is hideous! And for another, because I was oddly scared someone would think it was funny/cruel to shout something about the ending at me.

Which isn't a fear you really get with any other book, is it?

It wasn't till I was getting off the train that I noticed the girl sitting beside me the whole time was also reading Harry Potter. And, shamefully, she had the children's cover. Bah.

I've been weirdly careful online for the last week or so, too. Ever since the book leaked onto the Internet, spoilers have been everywhere; I've learned to unfocus my eyes whenever I spot the words "Harry Potter", or even words of approximately similar shape and length. I've resisted clicking on forum topics where I thought they might be discussing the book; I've avoided posting on LiveJournal, MySpace or Facebook with any mention that I'm reading the book, hoping if I kept my head down I'd stay off the spoiler radar.

On the Tube home last night, a woman accidentally dropped her newspaper on my head, and apologised. I looked up to tell her not to worry, and she clocked the book. And grinned, leaned in and confided that due to a credit card mixup, her copy hadn't arrived, but that she was looking forward to it.

People... don't usually do that, do they? I've spotted people walking blindly down the road, clutching the book in front of them, and, instead of being annoyed that they aren't watching where they're going, just felt sort of indulgent. Okay, it's a children's book, but for this week, almost everyone has been united with a common concern: how will the Boy Who Lived defeat the Dark Lord?

And that's kind of nice.

Have you guys all seen Joss Whedon's "Let's All Watch A Girl Get Beaten To Death" post over at Whedonesque?

( If not, I'll c&p it here for you... )

The guy might not be able to write a decent movie, but calls to action seem to be his forte.

naturalbornkaos and I went to see McFly at the Astoria last night. Which was awesome, though a slightly weird experience.

Firstly, it was the last night of their Up Close & Personal tour -- and at the Astoria -- so it was nice and small. Secondly, it was a 16-and-up show, with 14 and 15-year-olds allowed in if they were with a parent. And all the kids were emo. Lots of My Chemical Romance shirts; one Son of Dork shirt on a guy who really should have known better; and straightened hair all round.

The support act was some kid called Lil Chris, who was shouting in a pre-pubescent way, and McFly got on stage just before 9pm. Kicked off with Friday Night, then straight into Please Please. Oddly, they played four songs from the first album -- 5 Colours In Her Hair, Obviously, That Girl, and, ugh, Room On The 3rd Floor -- but only three from Wonderland. Other oddities included Silence Is A Scary Sound, Fight For Your Right (To Party), and Dougie singing the entire first verse of Transylvania by himself (with help from the audience).

As if desperate for some kind of punk rock cred, Tom pulled his pants down during Star Girl (no prizes for guessing at which godawful lyric) and they trashed their equipment at the end. But it was a very, very good show, with exciting lighting and lots and lots of energy. Although Harry had awful hair.

And I totally have the best boyfriend in the world.

Last time I had a message from the loading bay to pick up a parcel, it was some rechargeable batteries, or maybe it was some random software, I can't quite remember.

Today, though, it was a helium Spiderman balloon!

I have the best boyfriend ever.

This is the front page of the issue that goes on sale tomorrow. Subscribers got their copy today. If you listen to any radio station that gets its content from Sky News Radio, you might be lucky enough to hear The Editor on the radio tomorrow, touting this story. And several national newspapers are currently nibbling at the bait.

*overexcited*

This is a public service announcement: these are the world's best brownies.

Ingredients:

4 eggs
225g caster sugar
225g unsalted butter, melted
75g plain flour
75g cocoa powder
150g dark chocolate, melted
3 teaspoons instant coffee
And hazelnuts, black cherries, marshmallows, or whatever else you feel like throwing in. Coffee beans would probably be good.

Method:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/355F/Gas 4.
2. Beat together eggs and sugar.
3. Stir in melted butter.
4. Sieve in flour, cocoa, and coffee, then add melted chocolate and whatever else you're throwing in. Stir.
5. Chuck the mixture into a greased tin, and cook for about 20 minutes, or until it looks cooked. Remove from the oven and allow to cool. Chop into squares; eat with your face.

You could also make marshmallow sauce -- half a pint of double cream, 50g sugar, the seeds of a vanilla pod, all simmered till it thickens with marshmallows thrown in till they melt -- which is gorgeous. Yum.